Every generation has had its stresses, and fortunately for us we are in a time where there has been so much recognition of the maladies and stresses that plague us in this human experience. That paired with the ability to find limitless knowledge on our phones and computers has allowed us the opportunity to find community and know that we aren’t alone. Not only are we not only are we not alone, people who are stressed or suffer from anxiety are the norm and not the exception.
You may or you may have not ever heard of kava. The kava plant, indigenous to the Pacific Islands, has been used for hundreds of years both in recreation and ceremony. The root of the kava plant is known to bring feelings of happiness, relaxation, promote sleep, and calmness. It can be taken as a powder, tea, capsule, tablet, or tincture.
As with nearly everything these days it is not without risk. Kava can cause liver damage, liver toxicity- as well as dangerous interactions with alcohol, anti-depressants, Parkinson’s medications, medications in general, and other substances. As always do your research. Speak with your healthcare provider before adding(or removing) anything to your wellness care.
We all do it in one form of another. Wether it’s waiting to do the dishes, calling your mom, getting a paper done, or getting your taxes ready. Why do we do it though?
Just as we all know the familiar peril of procrastination, we are also just as familiar with that feeling of relief of completing a daunting task that has been haunting us. That rush of dopamine you get when you have folded and put away that pile of laundry in the corner of the room that has relentless been taunting you. The “good job” you tell yourself when you have finally cleared out that pile of water bottles that have been rattling around at every turn and stop on the road.
If our pleasure principle is set ablaze after a job well done- why do we do it if we know that we will be psychologically rewarded at the end of a to-do list task?
It’s been awhile since we have posted an article on here as procrastination has stopped our presses. Procrastination is the pause of progress- but is there a process to stop procrastination?
Prioratize-
Don’t start with the biggest task first. This is the saboteur of productivity. Start with with something you know can be competed in quickest amount of time. You’ll get the endorphin release from job completed and will give you the feeling of accomplishment and control as you make your way through the bigger projects.
A little at a time-
The incremental approach can be highly effective for two reasons:
Reason 1 -the idea of the whole task can seem overwhelming. You don’t have to commit by getting it all done in one clean swoop. Tell yourself I’m going to spend an hour today organizing the closet(or any other task you have been avoiding). This could even be broken up into two 30 minute sessions in a day. Go at it for a designated amount of time, take a break, and then return to again for a designated amount of time. This can take the pressure off of such a heavy task but still putting your productive foot forward
Reason 2- Watching your progress can be just as rewarding as completing it. Seeing that closet slowly transform from a heap of this and that into a functioning area can might give you that push. Seeing your progress shows you that the end goal is attainable. “Look what I’ve accomplished!”
Before trying any of the procratination busters the universal first step is to rip that bandaid off and just START.
Valentine’s Day. February 14. No other day has the power to equally both depress and illicit the warm fuzzies. You’ve had good ones, you’ve had bad ones.Typically the outcome of the day is hugely based on our partners actions(or lack there of).
We love a good cliche, and with that being said; in love you gotta love yourself first. The best Valentine’s gift you can give to yourself, is self love. Only you know how to love yourself, and if you don’t it’s time you start!
So if you find yourself on the receiving end of a loveless relationship with yourself, the best Valentine gift you can give yourself is love. We all speak different love languages, and there are zero questions to ask or mysteries to solve when doing something loving for yourself.
Speaking your own love language
I’m sure that if you are a reader of this site, just like us, you are very familiar with the 5 love languages. If you never heard of them or can’t quite remember here is a quick rundown.
qualitytime
words of affirmation
gifts
acts of service
physicaltouch
Most of us are a combination of all 5 but with a gravitation to 1 or 2 of them. So with that being said, how can you treat yourself this valentines day?
Quality time
So if quality time is your love language, when was the last time you spent some good quality time with yourself? Even if you light up in social situations, everyone needs some one on one time with themself.
Do you find yourself needing to be with others all the time? It might be really beneficial to go against that programming and spend some alone time. Sit and meditate on what is that makes you feel uncomfortable without the distractions of others. For many it’s easy to run from our thoughts when are constantly in the presence of others. When we resist having to be alone with our own thoughts, how can we ever heal and remove blocks?
Are you constantly having to hold it down for others? Kids, husbands, wives, friends, co-workers, and not a spare moment to just be? If this is you, then you more than anyone needs to spend some quality time alone.
Words of Affirmation
It’s time to take some personal inventory. The best gift for you this year is to sit down and start jotting down achievements, accomplishments, and positive attributes. Give yourself the accolades you deserve. Write them in your journal. Put them on your vision board. Make post its. Say them out loud and mean it.
Gifts
A wise woman once said “I can buy myself flowers”. Miley Cyrus is that woman. Flowers have forever been a symbol of love and affection. They look pretty, they smell good, they make you feel good, but do they smell any different if buy them yourself? We think they do.
Pull a Miley and go buy yourself your favorite flowers. Buy your favorite candy. Get on Amazon and pick something off of your wishlist. Take yourself to Target and let yourself pick out something, or some things. Treat yourself to something. You don’t have to go overboard or beyond your means. Find something that fits your budget and show yourself how much you mean to you.
Acts of Service
We all have something that we need to do and haven’t gotten to it yet. Sit down with your to-do list and pick one or two things that have really been needing to be done. The sense of accomplishment and the relief that will follow is such a great gift.
Physicaltouch
Did someone say massage? A massage isn’t just a pampering splurge, it’s beneficial for mind body and spirit. It improves circulation, reduces muscle tension, and reduces those stress hormones that love to party in our being.
Massage isn’t your thing? Book yourself pedicure! You’re actually killing to birds with one stone with this Valentine gift. Massage AND you get your toes detailed? That’s a major W.
Time to plan
How are you going treat yourself this year? If you really want to blow yourself away this year treat yourself to two, three, four, or ALL of the languages! Whatever your love language is, this year you are going to give yourself the best Valentine’s Day gift ever… an act(or more) of self love and self care.
You want to elevate your life but don’t know where to start? Keep it simple. Don’t stress yourself out, we got you. These 4 exercises will make manifesting for 2024 a BREEZE.
Vision/Dream board- Get out your magazines(if you still have magazines) or your computer/phone and Pinterest account, and start printing images and quotes that resonate with you! Head to Dollar Tree and get a poster board and collage your goals, hopes, dreams, and intentions.
Journal- We cannot express how important and multipurpose a journal habit is. It can elevate your spirit and your manifestation journey. Journal your projected journey! If a board isn’t for you, add some scrapbook elements to your journal with your cut outs from magazines or printed Pinterest pins.
Pray/meditate- When you sit down with intention and verbalize it in your head(or out loud) you are declaring to yourself, and to the universe that you are manifesting your best life for 2024. The squeaky wheel gets the grease!
Start using a planner- Don’t think of planner as being handcuffed to a to-do list. Think of your planner as a blueprint of how you intend to build your house of happiness! This is just like journaling or making a vision/dream board. You are literally manifesting for 2024 by doing this! You are taking your thoughts and giving them space in the physical world.
No self pressure- This is by far the best way to manifest for 2024. Don’t put pressure on yourself! We all dance to the beat of our own drum. Set goals that will push you, but don’t be your own enemy. We can be our own worst enemy by setting expectations that we don’t fulfill and then beating ourselves up because we didn’t do it perfectly. We are all perfectly imperfect. Keep going. If you didn’t get it right today, or you slacked for the past couple of weeks. YOU STILL GOT THIS.
You got this
Every day is a new opportunity to manifest and create the best life you could ever have. The world is your canvas, the paint is your life, and your intentions and choices are the pictures you paint. So pull out your art set and make something beautiful. YOU GOT THIS.
You’ve switched out your skin barring wardrobe for cable knits and wool. The light of day is getting shorter and the nights are getting longer. The sunny days have made way for cloudy skies. The pool and bbqs have been covered. The fireplaces are stoked and crockpot chili and soups are making their rotation heavily in the family meal plan. It’s warm and cozy inside the house, but something doesn’t feel right inside the mind. You just might be feeling S.A.D., as in Seasonal Affective Disorder.
Seasonal Affective Disorder, what is it?
Seasonal Affective Disorder, or S.A.D. is a type of depression brought on by the change of the seasons. It’s pretty straightforward in it’s name but how exactly does it manifest itself?
Seasonal Affective Disorder can manifest in some of the same ways that depression does:
a hard time focusing
no longer finding joy in things you love
no energy
change in appetite
feeling down with no pinpoint reason
difficulty sleeping or sleeping too much
weight loss or weight gain do changes in appetite
suicidal feelings
excessive eating or consumption of alcohol
substance abuse
Now, much like depression Seasonal Affective Disorder’s symptoms don’t manifest in a one size fits all scenario. You could be experiencing one, some, or none of the above.
Dealing
It’s important to mention that we aren’t robots! We are humans that are cornucopian creatures. Our feelings are a collection of the good, the bad, and ugly. It’s just as normal to experience sadness as it is to process joy. However, if you are starting to feel that the bad is out weighing the good, it’s a good idea to talk with a health care professional. It’s difficult for us to know exactly what’s going on especially if it’s something that you have never experienced before.
Journaling is hands down one of the most effective ways to help navigate. It is an excellent tool for many things. Keeping a daily journal in which you document the day’s events with your thoughts and feelings you can create a log that can be referenced by yourself and/or with health care professional. You can track how many day’s you have had low moments, and compare and contrast thoughts and feelings with the life events. Journaling is great way to self reflect and trace out connections, correlations, and patterns.
Soothing the S.A.D.’s
Here are a few ways that you can health sooth mind and spirit;
Talk to a counselor, therapist, or other health care professional
Get some sun if you can. This of course might be entirely impossible since this predominantly a fall/winter thing but if you gets some rays(protected of course).
Get with your people. They say misery loves company, and you know who else loves company? Joy. She loves company too. Sometimes when you feel like you want to be alone that’s the last thing you need. A laugh, a hug, a good cry even, experienced with a loved one is sometimes exactly what we need to get that happy back in our veins. Even if it’s just for a moment, it’s a reprieve non the less.
It’s important to know that there are so many resources out there. Find your resources and your remedy. It’s different for all of us and there are so many ways to get back your joy, and get back to the most positive you.
Do you feel like life has been bringing you an abundance of joy and your cup runneth over? During this time of year we talk so much about how it’s the season to give. While any time of year is the best time of year to share the joy, in honor of the holiday season here are the top 10 ways to pay it forward for free with little effort and absolutely no money.
Top 10 ways to pay it forward for FREE without spending anything during the holidays
Open the door for a stranger. Not only is it polite you’re saying “Hey there, I see we are sharing space and I see YOU”.
Compliment anyone. Who doesn’t love a compliment. If you really look you can find anything great about someone. Their smile, their outfit, their hair, or their laugh!
Tell someone you appreciate them. Sometimes the people at home or work won’t know they are appreciated if you don’t let them know. Knowing that you are appreciated is one of the best feelings.
Send a text to someone that you haven’t talked to in while. You’ve been thinking of them so let them know! Maybe they needed a pick me up that day your surprise message was just what they needed
Have a cart full of items? Let someone go ahead of you at the store.
Call your mom, dad, or guardian just because. You know that they would love to hear from you just because any day of the year.
Take your neighbors garbage bin up from the road when you take yours up. It might take 2 trips but how happy would you be if someone did this for you especially during the rain and snow season.
Return your cart to the store instead of leaving it in the parking lot. This is just good manners.
Offer to bag your own groceries, even if you’re not at Trader Joes. Our store workers are working over time during the holidays.
Smile. This the lowest effort thing you could possibly do to pay the joy forward. You don’t have say a word.
Now get out let’s get out there!
They say that some of the best things in life are free and it really is true. Hopefully this list of 10 ways to pay it forward for FREE inspire you to spread love and joy this holiday season. It doesn’t take much! Stay safe, stay kind, and above all spread some joy.
Who among us hasn’t found themselves unable to fall asleep or experienced anxiety?
Valerian is a herb with roots that contain properties said to help aid a variety of nervous ailments including insomnia, anxiety, nervous tension, and even possibly high blood pressure and muscle cramps. From Arabian physicians to Ancient Greek herbalists to the modern day woo woo hippie, Valerian root has long been hyped as a go-to alternative to over the counter and prescription sleep aids.
Valerian can be found in a variety of forms from tincture, powder, capsule, or tea which you can find loose leaf or prepackaged. Be warned though that should you choose to go the loose leaf tea route Valerian root has a very “distinct” smell to it. The Ancient Greeks called it phu and fun fact; phu is the foundation for our modern “pee-yew”. With that being said, we all know scent and taste go hand in hand so you may want to add some other herbs in your steep.
Chamomile is a great partner for Valerian root. Not only due to its lovely floral notes, but Chamomile has also been touted to promote relaxation. Other complimentary herbs you might want to add are lemon balm, lemon grass, lavender, hibiscus, passion flower, rose petal, and of course honey and lemon juice are also tea lovers favorites for flavor.
For a simple Valerian root tea base recipe:
Boil 1 cup of water
Add 1 tablespoon of Valerian root into your tea infuser
Steep for 5-10 minutes in your favorite mug
You can use this base recipe, or, play around with different complimentary herbs that will dazzle your palette and might just get you to dreaming on your pillow. Wether it’s the holidays or every day stresses, Valerian root might just be the stinky best friend, or bed fellow, you have been looking for.
As always this is not medical advice and you should always consult with a medical professional. Do your research before introducing anything into your diet.
Are New Year’s goals BS resolutions or real life solutions? Every year people count down those last 10 seconds before the clock hands (those long pointy things that circle the numbers to dictate the hours and minutes on old timey clocks) strike midnight on December 31st. It’s been a tradition to stay up, have a glass of bubbly, watch the ball drop, have a New Year kiss, and welcome the New Year with a new plan for a “new you”. The term “clock hands” has come and gone, but has the time honored tradition of New Year’s resolutions gone out like a baby with the bath water (another old timey saying)?
It was definitely cringe AF to say “New Year New Me” when January 1st 2023 came, and inevitably the terms “cringe” and “AF” will meet the same linguistic fate and be a blip in history like those old clock hands. Certain traditions will inevitably become a moment in time, and as every generation adopts or exiles vocabulary and traditions, where does the idea of New Year’s resolutions stand as we approach New Year 2024? Will this NYE have a same hold on the collective sentient experience? Or, is that too, a thing of yesterday?
While our language may be ever evolving, our wants and desires seem to remain the same come the New Year. For decades the top 2 leaders on the board of New Year resolutions have been to have better control over our bodies and our wallets. While most of us have often placed the longing for betterment in the areas of diet and finances as priority at this time of year, it would seem that happiness is joining those ideals with some serious competitive spirit. They do seem inexplicably intertwined after all. Who among us hasn’t had the thought that if we met a certain physical or fiscal goal that we would suddenly be happy.? Sure, being fit and financially sound could bring feelings of happiness, but figures don’t last forever. Happieness, much like our weight and wallet, are constantly in a fluid state. You nurture your body and your wallet, and your happiness is no different. Here are our top 4 ideas to start nurturing your happiness in 2024.
— Number 1
Journaling
Journaling is such a great way to organize your thoughts and emotions. Sometimes when you allow yourself the ability to speak freely you can confront your thoughts and feelings in a safe place. You’re also documenting your journey which allows you not only to reflect in the moment but also later down the road. It gives you the opportunity to look back at how far you have come and to recognize if you are stuck and how to plan a course of action.
— Number 2
Talk
This could be to a friend or a professional depending on where you are and what is going on in your own personal situation. While some of us need to recharge alone and don’t need to talk ALL the time, fostering communication and connection can do the spirit wonders.
— Number 3
Diet and exercise
Diet and exercise – Yes this is a cliche, but we all know that it can be beneficial when the goal’s intention is health over appearance. We all want to look good, but you can jump the shark when you focus on the vehicles paint job and not the engine performance. Exercise could be anything from yoga to learning a TikTok dance. Not everyone wants to (or can) run or do dead lifts. Move to the best of your ability. Find something that works that is active… whatever works for YOU. Sometimes even a simple stroll can change your headspace. Diet and exercise will not solve everything but it can propel you into a more positive headspace.
— Number 4
Meditation
Meditation – Cliche #2. Meditation doesn’t always mean sitting pretzel legged with your hands on your lap, palms to the sky. It could be sitting in the shower letting the water rain on you in silence for a few minutes. It could be laying your head down on your desk. Meditation is taking time however it works for you to just be still.
We all seek to be the best version of ourselves. We are constantly evaluating and taking inventory of our own personal and spiritual stock/crypto/currency. Much like slang (do we still call the evolution of words that?) the root or meaning of something remains the same even if we call it something different. We are all individuals who are doing things on our own terms and in our own way. Maybe your New Year is actually YOUR new year… like your birthday. Maybe your new year is tomorrow or maybe even today. Whatever defines YOUR New Year’s resolutions, there is so much power in setting a date, stating what your goals are, and defining how YOU want to change or accomplish them. It doesn’t have to be January 1st of 2024. Wether it’s January 1st, your birthday, or even tomorrow, your new year or New Year resolutions can start now.
Switching our focus is a powerful tool in building a happy life.
We often tell ourself the things that we should do to live a happier life. Yoga, diet, a gratitude journal? There are countless videos on YouTube and many articles written to inspire to live a self-helped life, but a gratitude journal seems kind of absurd. Or is it? The idea is that if you write down everyday what you are grateful for it will inspire you to be happier.
Let’s think about it for a moment. You wake up on Monday, you’re tired and you don’t want to go to work, or class, or whatever daunting thing you have required of you. You get out of bed and you stub your toe. “%^$#” you yell out loud. And like an electrical shock radiating from your throbbing toe to your brain you hear that inner voice say “today is going to be a bad day”. And then you get the snow ball effect. The toilet seat up. The last of the milk is gone. Someone took your charger. No clean socks.You can’t find your keys. Every light is red. There’s no parking. You miss your bus or train. You’re late. You spilled coffee on yourself. You forgot your lunch. So many different scenarios that could culminate in to a day that just keeps getting worse. And to think it all started in your stupid toe. How is that possible? Because in that moment you decided how you were going to perceive your day. You made an agreement with that voice in your head. The voice said “today is going be bad”, and you said “yup”.
We can all agree that stubbing your toe is a microcosm but we make it as macro as macro can get. It’s one tiny moment that sent the day into a downward spiral. So in that same way of thinking let’s apply it to gratitude. What is a moment of gratitude? It’s also just a tiny little thought or action right? If a tiny negative moment could send you spiraling down, then couldn’t a tiny positive moment spiral you up? Take sometime to sit down with your thoughts and think about what you have to be grateful for today. Did a coworker bring you a coffee? Did you realize that you didn’t forget your wallet on the cafe counter after all? Did your partner take out the trash AND do the dishes? Are your parents still alive? Did your dog finally starting using the back yard to do their business instead of the carpet? These moments of gratitude could be anything.
If you aren’t the type to journal in the traditional sense start making notes in your phone. Or what about creating voice memos in your phone. Maybe put up post-its in a designated wall in your home or office. When you are feeling down and everything is going wrong you could look at your wall, pick up that journal/phone and read your lists, or listen to all the things you have recorded that are amazing. It’s a two fold win. Not only are you taking the time to be present and appreciative of the positives things in life, you’re also documenting it and you can come back to it later to remind yourself that there is so much for each of us to be grateful for. We are all going have those mornings where we stub our toe and we are all fully capable of letting that set the tone for our day, but there is an alternative. Take a moment to redirect, regroup, and refocus. Changing our focus to what we have to be grateful for will surely help us to spiral up instead of down.
Have you ever gotten into your car to go to work and wanted to drive anywhere else but there? There’s been many times that I have. A little over a year ago I started working a second job in hopes that my husband I would relocate to a small town about 30 minutes from where I grew up. Over time things started to crack in this imaginary foundation of the imaginary house we had began building in my head. Things were fine at first and I found great pleasure in starting something new. The days at this new job began to drag and drip with stress. The drives there became painful. About 4 months, whenever I got to the 4 way stop 10 miles from job I had this voice in my head say “just turn left”. Straight ahead was where I was working, but left, that would take me home to my parents. I never did listen to the voice but what I did start listening to were YouTube videos on topics ranging from “when to quit your job” to “how to find your own happiness”. The thoughts would waver between stress and strategy. I left that job today. I wish that I had something more interesting to say of how it happened, that I could tell you I listened to that voice and just turned left… but it wasn’t that epic. There was a work group chat that really got me going and I had finally lost it. I lost my top. All that vitriol and anger about the things that I despised and found to be unjust, all the things that I had been bottling up about the job came spitting out my fingertips in spite of my better judgement. I had hit my breaking point last night. The idea of going in today, even though I knew I still could, didn’t feel right. I laid in bed this morning having barely slept with a thunderstorm of anxiety swirling around in the pit of my stomach. And there was a fear. A fear of “what now?”. I didn’t need the job as I have a nearly 2 decade career already but as naturally anxious person I feel unsettled. To calm my fear I started searching for something else to do for work. I felt the immediate need to fill the two days that would now be free. And then it dawned on me… “why are you in a rush to fill that time with something that will not serve you”? I’ve always desired to be a writer and spend time learning how to heal these uncontrollable anxieties and fears( like the ones that were trying to convince to find another job that I did not need). So that’s what brought me here. Like so many others I have spent my entire life being my own worst enemy, and I don’t want to do that anymore. I want to spend my life now learning how to be MY OWN BEST REMEDY. I had no idea where to start with new life project but I knew if I didn’t just do it I mostly would just dream about it instead of taking action. This is me taking action. I have nothing else even ready to publish on this site other than this very blog entry but I’m just going to post it and go live and build it as I go. I hope that if this find you, you’re a kindred spirit seeking to redirect your trajectory, even if you don’t have the full path laid out just yet. I’m grabbing my first stone and I’m laying my path; left.
xoxo
Writer’s note: I said I love write at no point did I say I was pro 😉
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